Q&A Wisconsin

Cailly Morris
Sun, 20 Nov 2011 01:52:39 +0000
Explore, People, Morris, Q&A

She’s known for her shape and beauty, but Wisconsin is more than eye candy. Get to know the hand inside the mitten.

Q: Do people make fun of your accent?

A: I sound real. If that bothers a fussypants from Bah-ston or ‘Bama, fine by me. I’ll keep my long vowels as I announce another Super Bowl title. You didn’t really think I was getting through this interview without a Packers reference, did you?

Q: We have to ask about your cheesehead. Why is it orange like cheddar with holes like Swiss?

A: Does it matter? A bunch of flatlanders mocked us with that name, and we turned it into an icon. Plus, I make mad money on those things. Pure win!

Q: Where do happy cows come from?

A: Don’t bring up that fugly California. Would you be a happy cow if you shared a state with Kim Kardashian and Arnold Schwarzenegger? I don’t think so. Happy cows live in America’s Dairyland. Cali can kiss my dairy air.

Q: “Soda” or “pop”?

A: The real question we should all be asking is, “Leinenkugel or New Glarus?” Germany, my half cousin twice removed, taught me, “stein or boot?” If you ask me, we should all take a lesson from Herr Beermeister.

Q: What would you do if you found out you were lactose intolerant?

A: Don’t even joke.

Q: Do you have a favorite lake?

A: You can’t choose between your children. I’m a giver, so I share Michigan and Superior. But if you make me pick, I’m all about Lake Winnebago. He’s pretty shallow, but he’s got a great sense of humor.

Q: So, Wisconsin, you run hot and cold. If you could date another state, who would it be?

A: Some girls would pick Texas. After all, size matters. But I like a date with brains and character. New York has it all but knows it, so I stay away from him and his ego. I like the shy boys, like Maine or Oregon. But lately I’ve been flirting over the border and eyeing Ontario.

Q: What’s the worst thing about being Wisconsin?

A: People either call me “forward” or “cold.” A girl has to work hard to overcome that.

Q: What’s the best thing about being you?

A: I wish I could take all the credit, but truly, the best thing about being Wisconsin is my people. Who wouldn’t love five million folks working and partying in your borders every day? I’m not a state. I’m a legend. When you say Wisconsin, you’ve said it all.